I'm lost.
Like a child in a sweet shop with just 10p to spend, I'm completely and utterly lost.
Almost 2 years to the date since I reached the geographic North Pole, I'm in a place, emotionally and psychologically, where there is just too much choice and I don't know which way to turn.
Hello by the way; yes it's been a long time and I know I have a great deal to tell you; from my mini-tours on the 7-seat circular bike, to my trek across part of the Sahara with 18 friends over 5 days, to the final charity act of 2013, the 12-hour bike ride that helped Pancreatic Cancer Action raise £4500.
I've also had a number of exciting challenges through BlueDucks, but this entry isn't about a catch-up; it's about the now and about the foreseeable future.
This year I had eight (yes EIGHT) opportunities to do things; some are all planned and ready to recruit fellow adventurers, and some are just twinkles in my eyes, or the eyes of other people. Charities started to approach me, from local ones to one in London; and people have started to approach me, from a restaurant manager keen to do something with me, to a company looking for something 'different'.
My aspiration, that my stand at the 2014 Buy Yorkshire Conference would be simply BURSTING with activities, was coming true ... and someone said they were keen to invest to make them come true ... but there were two issues for me, and I feel the urge to share that dilemma: I'd call it therapeutic.
On the one hand, all these things were exciting and fulfilled my desire that this year my activities would be cost neutral for me. I wouldn't spend vast amounts of my money doing more and more great things, but nor would I seek to profit from such activities.
On the other hand, contracts with clients don't naturally fit around my personal challenges and desires and, with a wonderful wedding to an amazing woman to look forward to (and to save for), the reality of bank balance versus mortgage payments came to the fore.
I also have to admit that the effort put in to recruit fellow charity challengers seemed disproportionately high to the actual results. It felt as if the beauty and simplicity of the Sahara team adventure was lost as I try to spread myself a little too thing (even with the BRILLIANT help of the lovely Michelle, whose avatar is below).
A meeting with a group of women, at Iveridge Hall, also brought something home to me; I was missing what I call the oh-wow-oh-sh*t factor of doing something challenging that pushed me to the limits of my perceived abilities, and beyond.
The women are known as the Yorkshire Rows (neat play on words, given they are lovely people and their logo is the Yorkshire Rose). What? Oh yes, sorry .... the play on words is because they have decided to row across the Atlantic in a custom-made boat that would only just look over-sized on the lake at Peasholm Park!
It's a tremendous and breathtaking challenge, and it was then that I realised I missed the idea of a year-long build up to a challenge. It was then that I realised that the time I was spending trying to recruit people to ride a bike for a day used to be spent in the gym, or networking, or fundraising, or dragging tyres round the local park like a man possessed.
But like a man with purpose!
I missed the challenge, the isolation and the very intense self-focus to take me from old fat Yorkshire bloke to, well, an old fat Yorkshire bloke who was doing something that made people's jaws drop and, more importantly, made people think "Well if he can do that, what can I do?".
Great people, lovely people, like Bob Proctor who got that twinkle in his eyes and fire in his gut when he was the first to sign-up for the Sahara trek (here's Bob and I, seemingly enjoying ourselves on our way to our starting point in the searing heat of the Sahara):
So a few weeks ago I even dug out the harness and ropes from the polar trek training, popped along to the local tyre merchants, and lashed myself up to a car tyre to drag it for a couple of miles.
It was good, but it wasn't great, and the reason it wasn't great was because it wasn't building to something I was committed to. I could quite easily do it again or, as the case has been, just put it all back in my garage and let it gather dust.
My mind was still in a quandry about what to do; what would ignite that laser-beam passion and dedication again? I had things to organise and people to harass, to try to get them to join in.
And that's just not me.
A trip to London was to make the big difference and it was a chat with one guy I admire and respect, and a discussion with an unresponsive charity that sealed their fate. A final meeting with a great water-based charity suddenly opened my eyes to new possibilities.
One of the learning points I got from the polar trek was only work with charities who make the effort to support you, and don't do it for those who simply say 'just send us a cheque' or, in the case of one charity in London, what I viewed as an even worse attitude.
So I traveled back from London, a little clearer on what was wrong but not much clearer on how I was going to put it right. And then, one morning last week, it hit me.
As I stirred myself to get out of bed and head for the shower, I looked back at my wonderful fiancee, Lucia, and I knew; I had priorities to meet as well as doing lots of good things for good causes ... and I needed to work, otherwise neither of those things would be possible. Over the next 20 minutes things became clearer and by the time I left the apartment, I knew what I had to do.
I needed a focal point every year, not 8 focal points. Maybe this chap (below) will be one of them, or maybe that's next year .... but I needed a focal point for sure. I started to think about how I'd prepare for such an adventure, and I had the stages clear in my mind. I even started to do 10km on the indoor rowing machine to see if I could (and yes, I could - all 3 attempts were completed in under 58 minutes).
I started to re-assess my physical condition and was pleased to see some of the form returning (although other than these, my butt and my legs, the rest of my body has a much longer way to go).
More importantly I had a desire to achieve again. A desire to do something that even I didn't truly know whether I was capable of or not.
What is it? Well this little boy has just narrowed his choice of sweets down from all the jars on the shelves to just 7, and there are 7 years in which to achieve them. The next question is what comes first.
See you in a week or so, when I reveal a little more (no, not of me) AND tell you about the great meeting I had today with the charity Henshaws but, for now, it's midnight and I have an interview with a client tomorrow so I can work, get paid, and afford to marry my fiancee next year, as well as complete a couple of other exciting adventures between now and then (that come 2nd and 3rd in my priority list, behind Lucia).
Sleep well, and thanks for reading this blog post. I'm back !!!
Like a child in a sweet shop with just 10p to spend, I'm completely and utterly lost.
Almost 2 years to the date since I reached the geographic North Pole, I'm in a place, emotionally and psychologically, where there is just too much choice and I don't know which way to turn.
Hello by the way; yes it's been a long time and I know I have a great deal to tell you; from my mini-tours on the 7-seat circular bike, to my trek across part of the Sahara with 18 friends over 5 days, to the final charity act of 2013, the 12-hour bike ride that helped Pancreatic Cancer Action raise £4500.
 |
| Setting off from Manchester city centre on the April 2013 mini-tour |
 |
| With a team from Barclays, on the September 2013 mini-tour |
 |
| Some of the team, who raised over £26 000 for charity, spread across the dunes in the Sahara (Oct 2013) |
 |
| Setting off on the final ride of the day, for PCA (November 2013) |
I've also had a number of exciting challenges through BlueDucks, but this entry isn't about a catch-up; it's about the now and about the foreseeable future.
This year I had eight (yes EIGHT) opportunities to do things; some are all planned and ready to recruit fellow adventurers, and some are just twinkles in my eyes, or the eyes of other people. Charities started to approach me, from local ones to one in London; and people have started to approach me, from a restaurant manager keen to do something with me, to a company looking for something 'different'.
My aspiration, that my stand at the 2014 Buy Yorkshire Conference would be simply BURSTING with activities, was coming true ... and someone said they were keen to invest to make them come true ... but there were two issues for me, and I feel the urge to share that dilemma: I'd call it therapeutic.
On the one hand, all these things were exciting and fulfilled my desire that this year my activities would be cost neutral for me. I wouldn't spend vast amounts of my money doing more and more great things, but nor would I seek to profit from such activities.
On the other hand, contracts with clients don't naturally fit around my personal challenges and desires and, with a wonderful wedding to an amazing woman to look forward to (and to save for), the reality of bank balance versus mortgage payments came to the fore.
I also have to admit that the effort put in to recruit fellow charity challengers seemed disproportionately high to the actual results. It felt as if the beauty and simplicity of the Sahara team adventure was lost as I try to spread myself a little too thing (even with the BRILLIANT help of the lovely Michelle, whose avatar is below).
 |
| Yes, the arrow on my head was my idea ... cheeky !! |
A meeting with a group of women, at Iveridge Hall, also brought something home to me; I was missing what I call the oh-wow-oh-sh*t factor of doing something challenging that pushed me to the limits of my perceived abilities, and beyond.
The women are known as the Yorkshire Rows (neat play on words, given they are lovely people and their logo is the Yorkshire Rose). What? Oh yes, sorry .... the play on words is because they have decided to row across the Atlantic in a custom-made boat that would only just look over-sized on the lake at Peasholm Park!
 |
| 30-45 days in this, rowing two at a time, for 3000 nautical miles, totally unsupported; would you?? |
It's a tremendous and breathtaking challenge, and it was then that I realised I missed the idea of a year-long build up to a challenge. It was then that I realised that the time I was spending trying to recruit people to ride a bike for a day used to be spent in the gym, or networking, or fundraising, or dragging tyres round the local park like a man possessed.
But like a man with purpose!
I missed the challenge, the isolation and the very intense self-focus to take me from old fat Yorkshire bloke to, well, an old fat Yorkshire bloke who was doing something that made people's jaws drop and, more importantly, made people think "Well if he can do that, what can I do?".
Great people, lovely people, like Bob Proctor who got that twinkle in his eyes and fire in his gut when he was the first to sign-up for the Sahara trek (here's Bob and I, seemingly enjoying ourselves on our way to our starting point in the searing heat of the Sahara):
 |
| Just don't ask Bob about me bowling him out in our cricket match in the Sahara. he still claims it was a no-ball |
 |
| Why do I always attract dogs?!?!? |
It was good, but it wasn't great, and the reason it wasn't great was because it wasn't building to something I was committed to. I could quite easily do it again or, as the case has been, just put it all back in my garage and let it gather dust.
My mind was still in a quandry about what to do; what would ignite that laser-beam passion and dedication again? I had things to organise and people to harass, to try to get them to join in.
And that's just not me.
A trip to London was to make the big difference and it was a chat with one guy I admire and respect, and a discussion with an unresponsive charity that sealed their fate. A final meeting with a great water-based charity suddenly opened my eyes to new possibilities.
 |
| The brilliant, wise and patient Simon Albert of Charity Challenge ... with his Involve mugs |
 |
| More charities should be as supportive and proactive as the wonderful people at Heart Research UK |
As I stirred myself to get out of bed and head for the shower, I looked back at my wonderful fiancee, Lucia, and I knew; I had priorities to meet as well as doing lots of good things for good causes ... and I needed to work, otherwise neither of those things would be possible. Over the next 20 minutes things became clearer and by the time I left the apartment, I knew what I had to do.
I needed a focal point every year, not 8 focal points. Maybe this chap (below) will be one of them, or maybe that's next year .... but I needed a focal point for sure. I started to think about how I'd prepare for such an adventure, and I had the stages clear in my mind. I even started to do 10km on the indoor rowing machine to see if I could (and yes, I could - all 3 attempts were completed in under 58 minutes).
I started to re-assess my physical condition and was pleased to see some of the form returning (although other than these, my butt and my legs, the rest of my body has a much longer way to go).
More importantly I had a desire to achieve again. A desire to do something that even I didn't truly know whether I was capable of or not.
What is it? Well this little boy has just narrowed his choice of sweets down from all the jars on the shelves to just 7, and there are 7 years in which to achieve them. The next question is what comes first.
See you in a week or so, when I reveal a little more (no, not of me) AND tell you about the great meeting I had today with the charity Henshaws but, for now, it's midnight and I have an interview with a client tomorrow so I can work, get paid, and afford to marry my fiancee next year, as well as complete a couple of other exciting adventures between now and then (that come 2nd and 3rd in my priority list, behind Lucia).
Sleep well, and thanks for reading this blog post. I'm back !!!
Glad to hear you're back Geoff! Looking forward to hearing (and hopefully helping with) about your new adventures!! - Nikki (virtualDCS)
ReplyDeleteYeh! Exciting times ahead! x
ReplyDeleteThanks Nikki and Sandra x
ReplyDelete